Guru Maharaj – Compassion personified
Sri Sri Swamiji’s devotees will never forget Tiruvannamalai deepam of 1996. Today being Tiruvannamalai deepam I recall that evening of sheer love and compassion of our Gurudev for His devotees. He had been to Kumbakonam and was expected back at Chennai that day.
“Sri Swamiji’s darshan cannot be had this evening,” were the shocking words that I received from Sri Hari, one of the personal attendants of our Gurudev. It was around 4.30 p.m. I had come to Premika Bhavanam for the darshan of Gurudev on this evening of Arunachala deepam. The doors were unusually closed and Sri Hari very kindly gave me this message through the window. Swallowing down the deep disappointment I gave him the candle that I had taken requesting him to give it to Sri Swamiji. I went to my friend and another devotee Uma’s home nearby. She was also utterly shocked to learn this news of ‘no darshan’, especially on Tiruvannamalai deepam evening. We began to pray in our hearts that we should be blessed with our Gurudev’s darshan.
Around 6 p.m. we once again went to Premika Bhavanam to try our luck. But, no, the gates were closed and we were given the same information that there would be no darshan. We returned to Uma’s home. We sat praying intensely that we should not be deprived of our Gurudev’s darshan on this auspicious day. An hour or so later there was a telephone call from Sri Swamiji’s devotee Sri Srikant. He said that Swamiji had asked us to wait a while and that He would give us all His darshan! And, a few minutes later we received the information that He was giving darshan. How our hearts leaped with joy! We rushed to Premika Bhavanam.
As we entered the hall we found Sri Swamiji sitting on a chair, placed in front of the black board, with a shawl wrapped around Him. He smiled at us. His close devotees
Sri Srikant and Sri Mohan stood beside Him, to His left. And, to His right on the ground stood the candle that I had given to Hari. The candle had been lit. The news of the darshan had already spread and the hall was quickly filled up with devotees.
Sri Swamiji signed to a lady devotee to draw kolam in the center of the hall and asked the ‘Divya Naama’ Krishna to be placed in the center. That being done He signed to all His young and elderly male devotees to perform Divya Nama Kirtan. A little while later He Himself got up from His chair and …….. ‘is something wrong?’ The initial excitement of the darshan wearing off I now noticed Gurudev’s gait. Something was wrong. ‘What is it?’ I wondered. Uma also said to me, ‘something seems wrong. Don’t you feel it?’ But soon this thought was erased out of our minds as we saw Him gaily moving around participating in Divya Nama Kirtan. His right hand went up as He began to sing. How wonderful! Soon we forgot ourselves in our Gurudev’s darshan and the Divya Naamasankirtan. This went on for nearly two hours. Sri Swamiji moved around so joyfully.
The whole Premika Bhavanam hall was reverberating with the Divine Naama and the Divine Presence of our Gurudev. This was followed by Dolotsav.
When it was over we once again woke up to the ‘something is wrong’ thought that had been pushed to the back of our mind. Sri Swamiji now stood leaning against the threshold to His hall. Unable to contain myself I went up to Him and asked Him, “Guruji, is something wrong?”
Smiling broadly, He said, “No, there is nothing wrong.” He smiled once again as if to reassure me that there was, indeed, nothing wrong and everything was normal.
I could not accept His words and I looked at Sri Srikant. But there was no response from there. All of us devotees left the place.
The next morning I received a call from Uma. She had the information. She said in a choked voice, “Nirmala! How gravely we have wronged our Guru Maharaj. He has had a very serious accident last afternoon and is badly hurt. It is out of affection and deep compassion for us that He has given us all His darshan last evening!”
I felt too shocked to speak and Uma herself continued to explain, “You know that Sri Sri Swamiji had been to Kumbakonam and was expected back yesterday. He had left Kumbakonam in His car. Sridharji and Sundar were in the car with Him. After some time Sri Swamiji exchanged places with the devotees and no sooner had this been done than the car skid and rolled over to the other side of the road and fell off the road. Our Guru Maharaj has taken the whole brunt of the mishap and Sridharji has had a minor hurt on his toe, I learn. The devotees have also escaped without much injury.
Gurudev is very badly hurt and has been somehow brought to Premika Bhavanam.
Sri Srikant and Sri Mohan are attending to Him. Sri Swamiji has sent the devotees to get medical aid but has Himself come away to Premika Bhavanam. Just imagine! His back is very badly hurt. Anyone in that condition would have been laid up in hospital bed and here our Gurudev has not only walked out of bed to give us darshan but has also performed Nama Sankirtan. I curse myself for praying so intensely for His darshan.”
The next morning when we learnt that Sri Swamiji was giving darshan we felt so ashamed of ourselves, of our intense prayer to earn His darshan on Tiruvannamalai deepam day. However, we went to Premika Bhavanam with the intention of apologizing to Him and requesting Him to rest until He was totally all right. He heard us patiently, smiled and said, “No, why do you apologize? You have done no wrong. I am truly fine. There is nothing wrong with me.”
And, during that whole period of suffering our beloved Guru Maharaj gave darshan every single day, in the morning and in the evening!
